The Brodcast

Episode XII - …How Many Wookiees?

In their second official “don’t call it a comeback” comeback episode, our heroes celebrate 2012’s Explosion of Geek Week (featuring the release of The Avengers, Star Wars Day, and Comic Book Day) in double-wide style. First up: if Tom and Justin were to tackle society’s criminals in a vigilante fashion, what items would they need to acquire, in order to make that dream reasonable? You’ll be surprised at just how long it takes for them to get gunned down in an alley. Then, after a brief heinie burp intermission and in honor of the late-2011 release of the even-further-modified Star Wars Saga on Blu-ray (pardon the delay), they exhaustively question George Lucas’ decisions and then decide how to use his endless tinkering powers for *good* — to improve movies that actually need improvement!

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All the most memorable disparate thoughts posed by Alex in episode XI:

Any time The Brodcast welcomes a guest, we will make a point to chronicle all their glowing contributions during their appearance for posterity, poops, and giggles. Please enjoy.

• “Can you just put an animal in armor and have it be badass?”
• “If you had the choice to live in a world where werewolves casually existed, would you want to?”
• “Of all the high schools that are in America and all the years that high schools have been in existence, the story of the movie Election has probably happened a lot.”
• “How do we evaluate the career of Reese Witherspoon?”
• “I’m surprised that Amy Smart got a leading role.”
• “The best experience to watch a horror movie has to be opening night in the theater when it’s packed, right?”
• “Was Year One the most disappointing movie ever?”
• “The Man Who Knew Too Little is one of the like, twelve DVDs I actually still carry around with me.”
• “In high school, Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai spoke to me.”
• “How would you explain the concept of aliens, in the Old West, when there’s no words to explain it?”
• “Transformers was so ridiculous, I thought it was purposefully ridiculous.”
• “John Leguizamo would’ve been great in Transformers.”
• “How could you be a big, nasty clown and not be the bad guy?”
• “There’s no movies like Little Monsters now, are there?”
• After seeing a sudden, shockingly visceral suicide in a French film: “it really ruined my whole night”.
• “I don’t have any idea about what your day-to-day life is.”
• “Girls who are really pretty only like to be friends with other pretty girls. That’s girl logic.”
• “I think a Suncoast-Radio Shack merger would’ve made sense. That should’ve happened; why did that not happen?”
• “Y’know what I absolutely don’t miss? And don’t feel nostalgic at all for? The CD age.”
• “It was like an experience, entering Tom’s apartment.”
• “Tom’s influence on me was like a cold death breeze from Blacksburg.”
• “I’ve never had the experience of driving out to some scenic area and plopping down on the hood of a car.”
• “Aside from Norfolk, I don’t know shit about this Hampton Roads area.”
• “If you lived in Flint, Michigan or Gary, Indiana… there is nothing.”
• “If you had to explain the story of the Bible in two minutes on a quiz show (with $1 million on the line) in front of a million people, what would your attempt sound like?”
• “How did the genre of comedy that’s captured in the Adult Swim block of programming come about?”
• “What’s going to be on jukeboxes in 30 years?”

Follow Alex on Twitter: @Bonetron

Episode XI - Skin Noises

In one of the longest and most topic-heavy podcasts ever recorded (we’re assuming, because those sorts of statistics don’t really exist anywhere and if they did, we’d have no idea how to analyze them), our heroes are joined by a third voice — the D’Artagnan to the original two Brodcasteteers. They valiantly tackle subjects such as free movie posters, high school principals, werewolves, Paul Metzler (you betzler!), Bill Murray doing impeccable things, monster portals, derelict spaceships, the impossibility of and disinterest in making friends after college, physical music media, the daunting and ridiculous self-imposed obligation to collect every Cure album on vinyl, AND UNBELIEVABLY, A WHOLE LOT MORE. So just listen to it, bozo.

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Episode X - Take the Zombie Baby to the Playground

In an episode that will certainly be regarded as the highest of high comedy once the world ends via other means, our heroes decide to focus on one thing and one thing only: zombies. These sluggish dead idiots are all over our culture and frankly, we’re just itching for them to arrive for real. With that in mind, we reveal this episode’s topic (a topic which we should all ponder at some point in the very near future): the ten things we would need to navigate the wasteland following the sudden yet inevitable undead uprising. Don’t take notes, though — we’ve called dibs on all of these ideas (and apocalypse or not, “dibs” holds up in any court of law).

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